"There's a hole in your foot, dear Miranda, dear Miranda."

I've been thinking about mentors and people touch your soul in a way that others haven't. One in particular is a wonderful person by the name of Olivia Brownlee (oliviabrownlee.com).

I met Miss Brownlee years and years ago at Ross Point Camp, a home away from home that I spent my life growing up at. She was a counselor, of course, and a damn fine one at that. She was crazy, and wild, and seemed to have a few nuts a little looser than most. But she inspired me all the same. I picked up rather quickly on that she seemed completely happy being that way and realized that I could be that happy, if only I just stopped feeling embarrassed by being me. I've spent everyday since trying to perfect the art of being an idiot, no matter what the circumstances. One of my best memories is with her, at this camp, merely a few weeks before I became a resident of this *uhm* fair state of Colorado.




It was the middle of the night, and I remember crying outside because it had hit me that everything I knew, I was about to leave behind. I had forgotten what it was like to start over, and it was starting to scare me, way more than I was willing to admit. If you know anything about me, you know that I despise when I cry, and even more so when anyone is around. Well, this wasn't an exception. I'm a real fan of keeping my cool and not showing specific emotions. And I was balling. Being surrounded by people being concerned for my mental status, I remember Olivia rushing in front of me, hugging me and saying, "It's good to know you really are human!" In which, we began to talk about how I can't always be strong and  have it together any percent of the time. Everyday, I think of that phrase. And everyday, I try to prove my humanity to myself.


While I was counseling at Quaker Ridge last week, I began to think about how I could be just as awesome to those campers as Olivia (and many other counselors) were to me. I was there with two of my old campers from my cabin two years before, Courtney and Paige. Courtney was a camper at the high school level that week, and Paige was a counselor at the elementary level, with me. Throughout the week, I got to see different sides of them and realized how it was I influenced them even the slightest bit. I ended up getting to talk to the middle schoolers, too, about some personal stuff, and realized that I entered (more like invaded) their lives for only a few minutes and still hit them upside the head with some stuff. I realized that no matter what I do in life, that's the thing I wanna do most. Yes, hit people upside the head (mentally and physically).